Our new family got through our first holiday with out dad this week. It was tough for everyone but was good for us at the same time. We gathered at moms house for some Roast... yep, Roast. We told some more stories and mom entertained us with her attempts to do home maintenance. She set a fence post and fixed the fence. She seems very proud of herself.

After stuffing ourselves on roast and swiss cake rolls (I brought the desert :) we started what I hope will be a new tradition. We set up Mom's tree. Since dad wasn't there to make sure it was in the "correct" spot, we put it in a new location this year and I think it looks much better than before. While we were working on the tree, we decided that we should do all of trees so friday we met at my house and did mine and finished with Jen's on Saturday. All in all our holiday had ups and downs but it definitely a good relaxing weekend.

This week, we will all try to return to some normalcy. Wish us luck.

Our new family got through our first holiday with out dad this week. It was tough for everyone but was good for us at the same time. We gathered at moms house for some Roast... yep, Roast. We told some more stories and mom entertained us with her attempts to do home maintenance. She set a fence post and fixed the fence. She seems very proud of herself. After stuffing ourselves on roast and swiss cake rolls (I brought the desert :) we started what I hope will be a new tradition. We set up Mom's tree. Since dad wasn't there to make sure it was in the "correct" spot, we put it in a new location this year and I think it looks much better than before. While we were working on the tree, we decided that we should do all of trees so friday we met at my house and did mine and finished with Jen's on Saturday. All in all our holiday had ups and downs but it definitely a good relaxing weekend. This week, we will all try to return to some normalcy. Wish us luck.

It's late and I don't feel like saying much today.    A number of people  have asked if the slideshow that Jen and I made was available somewhere that they could watch it so I have uploaded it here. 

I also uploaded a higher quality version which you can download from here  You will need quicktime to view the video.

As I have watched the events unfold this week I have noticed a number of things.  It's pretty late and it was a long day so I only have time to share one that has been sticking in my mind.

Being a parametric has to be the hardest job in the world. On monday morning as I ran into my parents house in response to a terrifying phone call, I could see into the garage as the EMT's continued chest compression that they obviously had been doing for a while. I knew at that point what these brave workers probably knew within a minute or two. He was gone. It was at least 20 minutes later that the medics informed us that they were not able to resuscitate dad. Today, as I pondered this event something occurred to me. These men and women had worked for 30-40 minutes knowing full well that there was no hope.   Despite what must have been going on in their minds, they had not given up, they had continued working....for us, his family.

I didn't get a chance to meet these incredible people monday morning so I will simply say "thanks" too all of the EMT's and medical personnel out there who face death for us every day. It's a job I could never do, but I am glad they are out there.

The sun came up today...I don't think we really expected it.    Each of us rose to greet the day in our unique way.   My lights came on a bit too bright, Jens' husband snored a bit too loud and mom woke from her one hour nap to clean yet another room.     As we stirred, each of us quietly hoped that sleep had allowed us to finally wake from the terrible dream.   But it wasn't so, life had continued on despite our wishes.

It was a new day.   Our new family had begun.    Mom put on her bravest face as she took on the mantle of Matriarch in a simple red sweater.    Jen took up her role of reminding us that it is OK to feel and I tried my best to be the strength that I know we will all need.    After  breakfast, Jennifer and I sat down to ponder how best to capture the life of our dad in pictures and song.  

It was different today, our new roles feeling like a new pair of shoes that don't quite fit.   As each of us explored the history of our family which we found stored in boxes and albums, we finally had a few occasions to smile (and even a laugh when I launched Photo Booth).   We told each other stories and thought about the good times which I now realize were so numerous.  People came and went and shared in our grief each taking on a small dose for themselves and I found a new respect for just how good a neighbor can be.   My sister and I grew closer as we crafted the story we wanted to tell about dads wonderful life.   

As we each tried to deal with the pain of knowing that the book of our fathers life had finished a few chapters too soon, we realized the the last few pages were something really special.   The father we enjoyed the last few years was someone special, he was our mentor, our best friend and was a man we were proud to call dad.  

The sun came up today and it will come up tomorrow....

As an introvert, it's often difficult for me to form friendships and quality relationships in my life.   Sure,  I have friends that have come and gone over the years  but through it all there was always my father.   We spent time together about once a week for some reason or another .    Each week,  I would bring him up to speed on the latest gadgets and gizmo's and he would try to convince me that the most important thing in life is good wine, olive oil and talk radio. 

My father and I were polar opposites and yet we were exactly the same in those things that matter.   As I grew up, I got his sense of humor, his wit and ability to say exactly the wrong thing in any situation.     He gave me my love of all things automotive.   We both were as happy as can be when ripping down the highway with the top down.    In fact, we got to take a nice drive in the SLK with the wind in our hair and the airscarf keeping us nice and toasty.   He loved SciFi but will not admit it.    In fact, he introduced me to science fiction when he took me to see "Star Wars" and "Star Trek: The Motion Picture" as a kid.   We both love to read and we loved to debate on topics to numerous to count.  I credit him with my morality and sense of fairness.   Needless to say, I am happy to say I am a lot like my dad.

Many children have a difficult time creating relationships with their parents as they grow up.   My father and I were able to make the jump from parent/child to a healthy adult relationship.    I would go to him for advice on those things he was uniquely qualified and he would do the same with me.    For a father to finally accept his Son as an equal has to be hard.   I was very proud of him for being able to make this transition and I know that he was always proud of me for the things I have achieved and the person I have become.

My father was probably my best friend in the world and I will miss him.

This morning after his morning run, my father passed away from a massive heard attack.    It was very unexpected for all of us as he is only 55 and in great health.    Personally, I feel like I am not old enough to be going trough the loss of a parent.   I know it can happen at any time from childhood to old age but it seems like something that usually happens to people much later in life after they have had time to prepare.   Today has probably been the most difficult day in my life.   I guess, it's the kind of day that one can only understand after having experienced it.  

This year has been very difficult for me.   2006 will not go down as one of my favorites and I have been thankful that my family was there during stressful times.    Beginning today my family will no longer will be be the traditional family I have relied on for 34 years.  Instead, we will be a new kind of family.  We will change.  We will learn new ways to interact.  We will take on new roles and hopefully each of us will grow....but I am thankful, we will still be a family.

 

For the first time in my adult life, I decided I would actually participate in Halloween.  No, I didn't dress up (maybe next year) but I did hand out candy to the kiddies in the neighborhood.  I don't know if it's because I am getting old enough that I don't see children as scary monsters (even without the costumes) or that I just finally have a house that is worthy of handing out out candy.   Either way, I loaded up on my piles of candy, turned on the lights and actually answered the door when the kids came.   Luckily 90% of them where of the tiny cute kind of kids instead of the older trouble making type.   All in all, despite the fact that it was much to cold to be out getting candy, it was a pleasant first Halloween experience for me.

I have FINALLY finished decorating one room in my house...my office.   That just leaves 7 rooms more to go.   I think it turned out pretty well.    Here are a quick picture.   Next up, is finishing the kitchen and dining room which are almost complete.

The car is back from the shop as well.   I think the dealer fixed two of the six items, looks like they will get another crack at the rest when it goes back.   Yep, that's right, as usual, there are parts to be ordered.   Specifically, the new heated seat had to be ordered and it will go back to the shop in the next week or so.   At least the engine isn't pinging anymore and the window doesn't seem to be squeaking any more.

Well, I have a pile of left over candy to eat, looks like I will have to run a few extra miles this week.